Friday, April 4, 2014

checking in...

HELLO!  I know, it's been a while...  The last few months have been swamped between SONGBYRD and a sweet Hallmark Christmas movie I filmed recently.  I've been writing and spending time with my daughter and working on some new songs to add to the in-process album.  I also had a great photo shoot recently with my dear friend (and obscenely talented photographer) Nathan Johnson, owner of Drift Studios.  Please go follow him on Twitter and Facebook.  There's always cool stuff happening there, like, you know... Robert Redford stopped by the other day for a few pics.  No biggie...

Been doodling a bit with kid chalk... so there's that.

Thank you all for birthday wishes!  The best gift you can give me is to #Take30Seconds and sign a few petitions on the EqualityNow website.  There are SO MANY women and girls who need our help.  They ARE making a difference out there by changing laws, which happens because people like us sign petitions and write letters and donate money and time.  Please please help them.

All my love!  Joy

Tuesday, December 3, 2013


Hi Everyone!  I've released a special Collector's First Edition of my cd "Your Woman".  The second edition will go up later in 2014 on iTunes and will be different.  Several of the songs available on this Collectors edition may not be added to the 2014 digital release, so this is a special opportunity for fans who like to collect these sorts of things.

Also included in some randomly selected buyer's envelopes will be bonuses!  (Bonuses include signed One Tree Hill cast photo, Mini autographed holiday photo card, autographed dvd sets, Handwritten Thank You cards and more…)

For those interested in my album, but not interested in collectors pieces, fear not!  You will be able to download a new version of my album next year.


Wednesday, November 27, 2013

I Am

Happy Thanksgiving to you all…  Please take the time to check into Netflix and watch this paradigm-shifting documentary from the director of Ace Ventura & Bruce Almighty.  This will seriously give you food for thought about for WHAT exactly you're grateful…

Monday, November 11, 2013

WHY PORN IS ANTI-FEMME, and there's no way around it...

Hi Everyone, I don't normally write explicit content, but, considering the topic it's unavoidable for me.  I've been pretty worked up about this issue for many years, but for some reason just got the thoughts all together in the way I wanted to say it today.  Lemme know if I'm missing something.

Fuck, I'm gonna get a shitstorm for this, I know it.  Well, I guess there's always a chance I'm wrong...

WHY PORN IS ANTI-FEMME, and there's no way around it...

Helen marries Tom.  She is beautiful and has great tits and a tight ass.  Tom loves her body, and she is a helluva woman.  He loves her too.  But, lucky for him, Helen at 25 looks as good as any pinup.  Tom still likes to consume Porn on occasion, and used to all the time when he was a teenager and in his 20s.  Everyone knows there's nothing wrong with Porn and anyone who says different is prude or narrow-minded.  Besides, its liberating for women who like to express their sexuality.  No one is getting hurt.  Helen doesn't get the appeal, but everyone tells her she shouldn't be threatened by a fantasy, so she doesn't bother him about it.  Eventually she decides its normal & natural for men to consume porn.  "Its just a guy thing".  Even tucked away pictures of half-naked supermodels… "it's just a guy thing".

Later Tom and Helen have babies.  Helen nurses them all for about 13 months each.  She gains weight from her pregnancies (Yeah, I know you think you know where I'm going with this, but keep reading anyway).  Her ass is lower.  Her tits are just boobs now-- deflated and worn from suckling children.  Her vagina is looser too.  She's still a helluva woman.  She stays home with the kids and is a wonderful, interactive mother and a faithful, loving wife.  Now she's 38.  She no longer looks like a pinup.  She can't afford buy new tits because she's just a housewife from Minnesota and Tom sells washing machines.  Tom starts to consume more porn than usual-- because it's easy, and because those women's bodies haven't changed.  Because Helens vagina isn't as tight as Tom can imagine the girls' in the pornos are when he squeezes with his hand, and because Helen works so hard with the kids and she's really tired and… it's just easier.  Besides, no one is getting hurt…

Years later, the kids are older and Helen has a lot of wrinkles and her boobs are lower than ever and her vagina is looser and her ass is saggier.  She's still a helluva woman, but Tom watches a lot more porn nowadays.  She's getting older and the girls in the porn videos stay the same.  They always stay the same.  They always stay the same.  They always stay the fucking same.  And Tom is turned on by their young, tight, bodies because they are OBJECTS of desire-- nothing more.  Except now he's conditioned himself to only get an erection by conjuring up images of bodies that have not been through childbirth and age and nursing.

So, she's still a hellva woman, but Tom watches a lot more porn nowadays and Helen is quickly losing her sexual power because she CANNOT… because it is IMPOSSIBLE for a real, living, breathing, aging woman to compete with an image that does not change.  She feels insecure about her sagging breasts and loose vagina-- THAT SHE GOT BY GIVING TOM CHILDREN.  Helen is a helluva woman.  A kick-ass mother.  She takes care of her body.  She takes care of her home.  She gives and gives and gives and it sucks the physical beauty right out of her as the years go by.  Her insecurity gives rise to resentment.  Tom feels shut out.  She doesn't want to have sex because she feels like she's being compared to an eternally youthful image.  When they do have sex she doesn't feel Tom making love to her because he appreciates everything she's done and sacrificed for him-- he is not "pouring out" for her out of unfettered desire to "give back" to her in his gratitude and to reaffirm his commitment to her.  No, she feels Tom fucking the girls on camera.  Or, maybe he does make love to her as a symbol of his commitment, thanks and love toward her… it's just not enough.  He needs to be satisfied by the fantasy, too.  Because HELEN IS NOT ENOUGH.  Because the beautiful woman who sacrificed her beauty for the sake of a creating a family with Tom and who has aged because life is cruel, SHE IS NOT ENOUGH.  Tom hasn't matured to a point of being turned on by these things.  He's still 17.  Poor Tom is just being a "normal guy", right?  Why shouldn't he be able to have his tits and ass? 

Because it's immature.  Because it's selfish.  Because it's disrespectful.  Because it's sends the most devastating message to every woman… "You are not enough.  Everything you give, have given and can give… it's not enough.  I will take ALL of you, but In order to have all of me you must forever look like an object that is unchanging."

Which is, of course, impossible.

Porn is designed to attract a regular consumer-- to keep you cumming back for more (sorry, I couldn't resist)-- to create a "fan base"-- to provide something you can't get anywhere else… something you can't get anywhere else… something you CANT GET ANYWHERE ELSE.  Porn is designed to isolate a man from the woman he loves and create a bond with the man that most men WANT (because we're human and we all want to get away with murder) so many excuse it as "normal and healthy" (for fucks sake!  Jesus!).   They can't get it anywhere else.  They can't get it from their real, aging, sacrificing women.  Have cake?  Eat too?

Maybe it would be interesting if Tom did a little sacrificing.  What!?  Give up his teeny, little, harmless fantasy so he can spend all that energy on the amazing woman who gives him everything?  Yes, dude.  

- Give up your 17 year-old fantasy
- Stop contributing to the objectification of women
- Pay attention to Helen
- Learn self-control
- Set amazing example for your children
- Live long and happy life

P.S. Just FYI, a shitload of those women in porn are trafficked in, so the chances that Tom is watching someone being forced against their will is pretty high.  Gross.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Go to Malta

Rome and Florence were too cold for me in October.  It wasn't terribly cold, but I just needed to lay on a beach and get tan while I was on this side of the world.  I have a friend from Malta and on a last minute whim, we hopped a flight to the little island south of Sicily, where I knew it would be warm…

I told our ride from the Malta airport the wrong arrival time so when we landed we had a few hours to kill.  I'm not sure how many people you know who have walked away from an airport, but I don't know any.  At any rate, we decided to do just that.  We left our bags with security, picked a direction and just walked.  After about 10 minutes we found ourselves in a totally deserted part of town.  Homes and apartments everywhere, all some version of beige color, mixed with the various erection of a worn, white statue of Jesus or the Madonna or a saint.  It was a total ghost town.  We wandered down the middle of multiple streets at 12 o clock in the afternoon and NO ONE was around.  Like a twilight zone episode.  Eventually we found a small.. space.  Thats the best word I can find to describe it, since it wasn't a "proper" restaurant or bar of any kind.  Anyway, we found this space with a flickering tv and 6 people inside.  We sat down, ordered a beer and a bag of Salt & Vinegar chips and talked with the bartender who informed us that it was so desolate because it was lunchtime and everyone was inside eating and sleeping.  Sounded like exactly what we wanted to be doing after a few long days of excursions in Rome.

Finally it was time to catch our ride so we walked back to the airport and met our new friends who gave us a drive-by tour of the island before we reached our hotel.  Its the most unique mixture of desert and sea that I've seen in person.  All the buildings remain unpainted and retain their beige limestone color because paint deteriorates the limestone, exposing it strengthens the stone through the elements.  So, all the architecture is built with the idea of complimenting nature instead of competing with it.  The October weather was warm with a reliable sea breeze and the views from every direction were instant peace.

Malta is a small island with the most lovely, inviting people, proud of their rich heritage and excited to share their country with visitors.  While on holiday there I swam in the warm mediterranean sea (which boasts the softest sand I've stepped on… like baby powder), ate incredible fresh food, was hosted by beautiful, friendly locals, and explored Hagar Quim the oldest known man-made structure in the world dating back to the Neo-lithic period.  

There were countless more activities we could have engaged had we more time, like the St. Julius bustling nightlife with some of the best DJs in the world who choose the Maltese club scene to throw down their beats (as does MTV, yearly, throw a FREE concert featuring people like Lady Gaga and Katy Perry), or visiting movie sets from Gladiator (the colosseum as it would have originally looked!) and Popeye village, or spots from World War Z and Munich.  There is a huge marine community here, as well (visit the aquarium -- for grown ups and kids alike, or go diving, snorkeling, kayaking or fishing), or for history buffs there is a Cathedral where in WWII a bomb came right through the ceiling during an air raid while mass was in session and, miraculously, didn't explode… and is still there today.  Actually, particularly if you are Catholic or Christian, there is a rich heritage for your faith here.  You can nourish your brain and soul, AND soak in the Sea air & island life at the same time.  The history here goes way back… like 5,000+ years back.  There's even a statue on St. Paul's island dedicated to  St. Paul who was shipwrecked here as is recorded in the Bible in Acts.  This place is OLD, ya'll.   You want to see places where civilization began?  Don't go to the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas.  Go where people say Atlantis REALLY was… Go to Malta.  

A few of my favorite spots…

Cafe Del Mar attached to the Malta National Aquarium (order the Pina Colada mussels-- actually, order a Pina Colada too!  Made with all FRESH ingredients)
Hagar Quim
Maritim Hotel Penthouse Suite (worth it to go in on with friends… has its own pool overlooking a cathedral and the Sea)
Mdina "the silent city"
The beach by the Sea Break resort for laying out on soft sand and dipping in the Mediterranean Sea.  I didn't stay at this hotel but it looked beautiful and great for kids, too.

Bon Voyage!  Xx BJL

My friend Natasha's restaurant, where her brother, Tonio, cooks! 
At the Malta National Aquarium